danielkanhai:

my idea of wealth has changed. when i was little i’d dream about living in a giant mansion with like a tennis court and a bowling alley and an indoor swimming pool and all other sorts of sports things i’d never use. now when i fantasize i’m like, “maybe someday i’ll be able to rent a one bedroom apartment and live there alone.”

(Source: factoseintolerant)

thenames-hiccup:

yo mama jokes don’t work very well here

(Source: thenameshiccup)

Everyone is having a dinner party and Hannibal is not invited.

(Source: sungl0ry)

brokeassyouth:

why do you ship the thing?

*pulls out binder full of laminated pages and photos, opens presentation on powerpoint, pulls up podium*

I’m glad you asked